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Bother Eddy Ketchersid has been in full-time ministry for more than fifty years!  A product of west Texas, Brother Eddy went to school at both Amarillo College and Seminary and Abilene Christian.  He has been married for 53 years, and has six children.  Brother Eddy is truly a community ambassador.  He is the Community Minister for The Branch, Farmers Branch Church of Christ.  He has also been very active in the Farmers Branch Chamber of Commerce for more than 20 years.  Brother Eddy has written two books, the most recent of which is “Ten Commandments of Leadership Networking”.  In line with my blog over Thanksgiving on “Building and Maintaining Productive Relationships”, Brother Eddy notes that the most important accomplishments in life are possible only through healthy and strong relationships.  If you’d like to reach Brother Eddy, he is a phone call away at (972) 345-1645.  To find out more about The Branch, check their website at www.thebranch.org.

Today’s show in Atlanta is dedicated to an organization that is committed to helping seniors successfully age in the place of their choosing.  Mary Lea Quinn is the Founder of the Atlanta Chapter of the National Aging in Place Council (NAIPC).  In its inaugural year, the Atlanta Chapter of the NAIPC is one of 12 active chapters around the country.  Their website describes itself this way:  [We provide] “a community of people and professionals who act to provide resources and services that champion living long, independent, productive lives at home and in the community.”    Mary Lea can be reached at Mary Lea can be reached at (770) 476-8400.  Visit the NAIPC’s website here.  

Joining Mary Lea in the studio today are two guests that have been on the show before:  Thom Corrigan and Dara McMillan.  In addition to representing the NAIPC this morning, Thom also represents both Metta Johnson and Associates and The Elrod-Hill Law Firm. Thom has served the senior community as a social worker and a geriatric care manager for thirty years. Though the two organizations he works with represent different disciplines within the senior services arena, both share the common objective of providing a comprehensive assessment of a client’s situation and providing solutions to meet each client’s unique requirements.  Thom can be reached at (404) 791-8234, or via email at thomcorrigan@bellsouth.net.

 Dara and her husband are the owners of a unique company called My Accessable Home.  Though there are a few other companies in the Atlanta area that specialize in renovations for seniors and disabled adults, their business is unique in that they bring a wholistic approach to the process.  Dara can be reached at (770) 715-5242 or on the web at www.myaccessablehome.com.

Candace Kortovich is a Housing Counselor for a non-profit organization called Housemate Match.  Housemate Match is a unique, nationally recognized, home sharing program that matches mature adult homeowners who have extra room in their homes with adults (tenants) seeking a roommate in a beautiful and safe place to live in the Metro Atlanta area.  For more information on Housemate Match, please contact Candace at 678.812.4082.  You can also view their website here.

Special thanks to Griswold Special Care, A Tradition in Home Care Excellence since 1982, for hosting today’s show!

The hosts of Eugeria! Radio would like to wish all of our listeners and readers a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving.  As the owners of Griswold Special Care, Sam and I are grateful every day for the Clients, Caregivers and Staff that make our business, and this show, possible.  We feel privileged to be able to provide home care for seniors and disabled adults who very much want to remain in their homes, wherever they call home.  We also want to say thanks to the army of family and professional caregivers that make that possible.  As such, I have written an excerpt from a presentation given to the Parksinson’s Disease Support Group at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital on Thursday, October 21.  Special thanks to Rachelle Carruthers for giving me the opportunity, and encouraging me to write it down!  If you would like a printed copy of this article, please send me an email at brad.culp@griswoldspecialcare.com.

Relationships are hard, even in the best of circumstances!  Sure, it’s easy enough to make a friend, meet a spouse, hire an employee.  What’s difficult is keeping a friend, spouse or employee over a period of years.  And it’s even more difficult to preserve a relationship when one or both of the parties don’t feel well, or are suffering from some type of chronic disease or dementia.

Think about a positive relationship in your life.  What are the characteristics?  Open communication, peace, intuition, sense of happiness.  Now think about a troubled relationship:  stress, anger, silence, verbal outrage.  Which would you prefer?  No contest, right?!

So how does one build and sustain positive relationships?   Emotional intelligence is one’s innate potential for emotional sensitivity, memory, processing and learning ability.  Your emotional intelligence quotient (EQ) reflects how that potential is developed over time.  And unlike IQ, EQ can be developed!  Did you know that Emotional Intelligence is a better predictor of success than grades, IQ, technical skill or cognitive ability.  People with a high EQ make more money, have more friends, generally live longer and are happier in life.

 Here are the dimensions of Emotional Intelligence: 

1. Self Awareness – recognizing emotion in yourself, knowing what pushes your “buttons”
2. Self Regulation – the ability to manage emotion in yourself
3. Self Motivation – learning to change how you act or react in stressful situations
4. Recognition of Emotion in Others – each person responds differently, know how your loved one will respond in the midst of stress
5. Management of Emotion in Others – recognize that you cannot change another person, but you can change the dynamic of the situation. 

So how do you improve your EQ?  Think about each of the five dimensions above.  First, identify your own areas of deficiency, your “hot buttons”.  Learn to manage them, or learn to manage situations you know will test your abilities to control your emotions.  Second, when your buttons are pushed, learn to pause – give yourself six seconds.*  Take a step back, reduce the energy you are lending a situation, postpone your reaction and try to modify the circumstances.  Develop a sense of optimism around your relationship, then practice it – it’s contagious! 

Once you’ve addressed your personal issues (dimensions 1-3), then you are ready to develop a plan for managing the relationship.  If you are a Caregiver, realize that you will have to take the first step, and will need to drive the process.  Your loved one is not likely aware of the impact of his or her actions or words on those around him or her.  

There are a number of social skills that establish the union where theory meets action.  Consider the following; 

• Communication – Will talking help?  If so,
  • Plan your conversations
  • Express your feelings and opinions (without high emotion)
  • Invite joint problem solving
  • Ask open-ended questions
• Diplomacy
  • Invite your loved one’s feedback before offering your own
  • Listen actively:  perceptions, feelings, body language
  • Clarify and ensure understanding
  • Avoid getting defensive
  • Be prepared to go back to the listening part
• Modeling
  • Just as you modeled behavior for your children, you must show your loved one how to behave properly and appropriately by modeling the behavior yourself 

If the preceding points can be thought of as a plan, your next challenge is to implement the plan – to try to change the dynamic of your relationship.  Here a few pointers to make that successful: 

• Pick the right time – for you and for your loved one
• Before you take your first action, envision the interaction and imagine a positive result
• Monitor your progress over a period of time
• Find a confidante with whom you can discuss the situation
• Be prepared to step back, re-evaluate and try alternative approaches 

Again, relationships are hard.  But anything worthwhile in life is hard.  As a caregiver, you are probably acutely aware of the mortality of your loved one, and of yourself.  Following these guidelines can help you make the most of the precious time you have with your loved one.  A wise person once said, “people may not remember what you did for them, or even what you said, but the will always remember how you made them feel!” 

*The Six Second Pause**

 How do you respond when one voice (in your head or audible) gets really loud?  Do you allow your feelings to be hijacked?  Shouting voices tend to hang out in one part of your brain:  the limbic ring.  Science has shown that if you use another part of your brain for about six seconds, you create a physiological opportunity to choose a constructive response to your emotions.  You do this by using an analytical part of your brain – the cortex.  Examples of analytical thinking include: math, language, complex visual or auditory processing. 

So the next time you feel like shouting, try one of the following: 

• Count to six in a foreign language – learn a new one for this purpose
• Say the alphabet backwards
• Think of six cities in Africa, or Asia or South America
• List the Seven Virtues, or the Seven Deadly Sins  

It’s hard to continue to pour fuel on a fire when your mind is trying to process an analytical problem.  Give it a try, and see if it doesn’t help you regain your perspective!

Again, from Brad, Sam and Griswold Special Care, Happy Thanksgiving!  May your day be blessed with good food, good cheer, good friends and close family!

** The Six Second Pause can be further investigated in The Six Second Pause, by Joshua Freedman 1997-2002

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Today’s first guest is a Texas transplant.  Born and raised just outside Buffalo, New York, Pat Lucey-Sparacio spent most of her life in the Northeast.  Four years ago, Pat gave up the snow and ice of the northeast for the snow and ice of Dallas (at least last year!).  Earning a degree in Speech and Hearing from Hofstra University, Pat started her career as a practicing speech pathologist, and has been doing that for 30 years.  Upon arrival in Dallas, Pat worked on a PRN basis for a year or so to get a flavor of the senior care community.  Approximately three years ago she became aware of the position of Rehab Director at LifeCare of Plano, a full service skilled nursing and rehabilitation facility.  Pat’s role is to help transition patients from an acute care setting back into the home environment.  Pat loves the opportunity to interact directly with her patients, hear their stories and help them achieve their goal of returning home.  Pat can be reached at (972) 612-1700.  Tour their facility in Plano at 3800 W. Park Boulevard, or visit them on the internet here.

Eugeria! Radio is privileged today to highlight a very critical topic:  Elder Abuse and Maltreatment.  Returning to the show today as a Guest Host, Kim Bunker, owner of Southern Cross Mediation, has arranged for two special guests from the Atlanta Regional Commission, Area Agency on Aging, Vicki Shanahan and Deborah Cotton.

An expert in forensic geriatric nursing, Kim interviews Deborah and Vicki specifically on the topic of elder justice.  She notes that there are four key areas of focus: 

• Physical Neglect or Abuse
• Emotional Neglect or Abuse
• Financial Abuse or Exploitation
• Self Neglect

As staff for the Atlanta Regional Commission, Area Agency on Aging, Vicki and Deborah dedicate the time to supporting first responders in the community with education and resources.  Vicki notes neglect or abuse is often a hidden issue – sometimes intentionally by the abusers, sometimes out of fear or shame by the abused.  According to Deborah, it is critical for those close to elderly individuals to recognize their status as first responders, and to communicate with others who interact with a given elderly individual.  The Atlanta Regional Commission has a wide variety of resources available for those who may have a need, including a database with over 25,000 entries.  They also conduct educational seminars and programs on a regular basis.  Call them directly at 404-463-3333, or visit them on the web at www.agewiseconnection.com.  Contact Kim Bunker at 770-317-8244 or visit her website: www.southerncrossmediation.com.

Special thanks to Griswold Special Care, A Tradition in Home Care Excellence since 1982, for hosting today’s show!

Please click PLAY to listen to the latest Eugeria! radio show podcast broadcasting live each Wednesday at 11:30am EST/10:30am CST from the Business Radio X studio in Atlanta, GA, USA.  Eugeria! Radio is proudly sponsored by Griswold Special Care, providers of exceptional senior home care in Atlanta and Dallas for nearly twenty years.  

We are now available on iTunes, click this link and you can find all our past shows. Press SUBSCRIBE and you will automatically get the latest show when you sync your iPod to your computer.

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Born and raised in Arkansas, Lue Taff started her career working for Bill Clinton…indirectly.  After earning an undergraduate degree in Psychology, and having trouble finding work in that field, Lue went to work for the State of Arkansas as a computer programmer.  During this time as a computer programmer, Lue started doing some volunteer work in the community.  She was paired with an elderly woman to support her in whatever way was needed.  She became close friends with her, and developed a passion for serving the senior population.  This led her to a Masters in Social Work in 1996, and seven years working in social work in a clinical environment.  She became aware of an opportunity to lead the Elder Support Program at The Senior Source.  Today, she is still the Director of the Elder Support Program, and loves the opportunity she has every day to make an impact on the lives of seniors and their families.  Lue can be contacted at The Senior Source at (214) 823-5700, or visit their website at www.TheSeniorSource.org.

As a nursing student at Texas Christian University, Shemanne’ Nickerson spent part of her time working for a non-profit organization serving those suffering from Cerebral Palsy.  Her work there so impacted her that it led her to change her major to Social Work.  After graduating, Shemanne’ worked for three years with the AIDS/HIV population as a social worker.  She then had an opportunity to become the Director of Case Management for a local rehab hospital, where she began to be exposed to the senior population.  As a social worker in a rehab environment, Shemanne’s primary role is to transition patients from the hospital to the home.  She realized that the needs of the senior population were a bit more complex than younger patients.  Shemanne’ advises families to understand their diagnosis, to be involved in the decisions being made regarding a loved one’s care, to ask lots of questions and be aware that there are many options available for all types of treatments.  To contact Shemanne’ directly, email her at  snickerson33@gmail.com, or via phone at (817) 716-8830.

Monica Perdew is a native of Macon, Georgia, where she grew up and attended Mercer University.  She began her career as and insurance counselor for GEICO for thirteen years.  Subsequently, she moved to Houston to attend the Thurgood Marshall School of Law at Texas Southern University.  After earning her law degree, she returned, with her husband, to Atlanta to start a family.  She was privileged to be able to stay at home to be a full-time mom for a number of years.  It was during this time that she noticed a lack of eye contact from her son, and that he was not responding to his name.  After ruling out hearing loss and other conditions, Monica and her husband ultimately received a diagnosis of Autism for their son.  This diagnosis fundamentally changed their lives.   Monica is organizing a community event to benefit the Walden School at the Emory Autism Center.  The event is a Community Yard Sale being held at Clairmont Presbyterian Church, 1994 Clairmont Road in Decatur, on November 20 from 8 am to 1 pm.  Rent a space for only $25, or come out and shop!  To register for the event, or contact Monica directly, email her at mdbaileylaw@aol.com, or call her at (404) 428-4828.

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Fran Russ and Angela Presley have something unique in common!  They both started their careers with the Muscular Dystrophy Association of Greater Dallas.  A Dallas native, Angela went off to school in Lubbock at Texas Tech, and came back.  Fran grew up in Houston, went to Baylor University, then came to Dallas to work for MDA.  Today she is the Director of Business Development for MDA Dallas, while Angela is the Healthcare Services Coordinator.  The Muscular Dystrophy Association is a national voluntary health agency dedicated to conquering more than 40 muscle diseases that affect a million Americans of all ages. MDA combats neuromuscular diseases through programs of worldwide research, comprehensive medical and community services, and far-reaching professional and public health education. To contact the Dallas Chapter of the MDA, call them at (972) 480-0011, or visit the national website at www.mda.org.  And mark your calendars for March 5, 2011 for the annual MuscleWalk at Cowboy Stadium.

Kim Bunker is from the South…just barely.  Growing up in Kentucky, she attended the University of Kentucky for her nursing degree.  She did a little “missionary work” in the north (New York and New Jersey), and spent time in Florida before settling in Atlanta in 2004.  She spent a good bit of her career in a clinical environment, including time in the ICU.  During her time in acute clinical medicine, it became apparent to her, just as to last week’s guest, Angela Thomas, that there was a great need for patient advocacy on a more personal level.  Five years ago this month, Kim started her company, Southern Cross Professional Nurse Consulting.  Though she started out providing legal nurse consulting to attorneys, she was quickly overwhelmed with requests for assistance from families in the areas of both forensic nursing and geriatric care management.  Look for an upcoming show with Kim focused on the fascinating topic of forensic nursing!  In the mean time, you can contact Kim at (770) 317-8244, or via email at kimbunker@gmail.com.  Check her out on the web at www.southerncrossmediation.com.

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Originally from Philadelphia, Angela Thomas knew early on that she wanted to help people as a career.  After a few years of school in Colorado, she returned to Pennsylvania, where she earned her Bachelor of Nursing degree at Penn, and later her Masters in Nursing.  After a 17 year “break” to raise her 5 children, Angela returned to the work force in Dallas as a hospital nurse.  During her five years in the hospital, she observed that the needs of seniors were not always well-served in that environment.  About the same time, Angela was caring for her husbands aunt in their home.  These experiences drew out a passion for the elderly, and in 2006 she launched Caring with Grace.  Named after her aunt-in-law, Caring with Grace focuses on assisting its client to enjoy a high quality of life and reach their maximum potential.  Angela encourages independence, and works hard to create environments that meet that goal while maintaining security and safety.  Angela can be reached by email at angela@caringwithgrace.com, via the telephone at (214) 789-6402, or visit her website at www.caringwithgrace.com. 

Debra Furtado describes herself as a “corporate refugee”.  Originally from the West Coast, and a UGA grad (and UGA parent), she spent a number of years consulting for AGL.  While she was still in the corporate world she served as the Board Chair for Senior Connections, an organization whose mission is to maximize independence for seniors through advocacy, information and services.  When the CEO left, Debra stepped in as the interim CEO.  Now, six years later, it’s safe to say that “Interim” has been eliminated from her title!   

Sally Eggleston is also a corporate refugee.  She was one of nine children, born and raised near Erie, Pennsylvania.  She later moved to Houston, Texas.  After more than two decades in the corporate world, Sally recently had an opportunity to bring her talents to bear at Senior Connections as their Chief Marketing Officer. As Sally puts it, Senior Connections offered a cause that she can feel passionate about.  Part of this passion she attributes to the example set by her 96 year old mother who learned to drive for the first time at age 69.  

Senior Connections will deliver more than 500,000 meals this year, will provide nutrition counseling, in-home care and home repair to the seniors of DeKalb County.  They also operate six senior centers and offer a variety of classes, activities and trips.  Find out more about Senior Connections by calling (770) 455-7602, or visit them on the web at www.seniorconnectionsatl.org.